Is Santa Real? What to Tell the Kids

I learned the truth about Santa Claus from my older brother. I was skeptical at first, so we sneaked out to my grandparents' trailer and he showed me all the gifts we had asked Santa to bring. He was telling the truth! My brother had somehow stumbled upon an amazing secret. Thinking that my little sister shouldn't be the only one kept in the dark, I immediately went to tell her Santa didn't exist.

I don't remember her reaction, but she remembers it quite clearly. She was devastated and cried. And now, more than three decades later, she still likes to remind me of how I destroyed her childhood innocence. It's become a joke between us, one of those enduring childhood tales that gets retold at family gatherings whenever my sister wants to tease me, but now that we both have children, I realize just how young she was when I broke the spell and just what I took from her that day.

My daughter is three and my son is eight at the time of this writing, so Santa's magic is still alive and well at our home. My son has starting making comments that indicate he might be getting close to the truth, but he still believes. I'm glad. I'm sure that someday much too soon someone will let him in on the the same secret my brother shared with me and he'll come to us to ask the dreaded question: Is Santa real?

What will I say?

I've learned that sometimes the best way to deal with to sensitive questions is another question: What do YOU think? Often kids don't want or need a big explanation. A simple answer is sometimes all that's required. It reminds me of the joke about the boy who asked his mom where he came from and she lectured him about the birds and the bees. When she finished he said, "But where did I come from? My friend Johnny is from Chicago."

So the first thing I'll do is find out what my son thinks. If he's not ready to let go of the magic, I will let him continue to believe. But if he's noticed that Santa Claus couldn't possibly be at multiple shopping malls for photos at the same time and realized it's impossible to circumnavigate the earth in a single evening, then I'll tell him the truth.

Is Santa real? No, he's not real in the way that he's portrayed in cartoons and marketing campaigns and images of him flying through the sky with magic reindeer. But he is real in many other ways, and those are the ones that count. That's why I still believe in Santa. Today's Santa comes from the real-life generosity of Saint Nicholas, who spent his life helping children and the poor. His compassion and generosity set a shining example for people around the world who have translated his good deeds into the legend of Santa Claus.

I also believe we are always given gifts in life when we try our best, play well with others, and use our best manners. These are traits Santa Claus rewards with inclusion on his Nice list. But we don't need have to wait to get on Santa's list to practice these traits. We simply need to remember that we'll be rewarded every day for behaving in ways Santa would approve. The rewards may not come in boxes, bags, or bows, but they will come in the form of love, happiness, joy and friendship.

I also believe in the magic of Santa's spirit. I believe life is magical, miraculous and mysterious, just like Santa, but only to those who are willing to believe. In our small world that is also full of hunger, hatred, poverty and grief, the magic of life disappears as soon as you choose to stop believing. Belief in magic takes patience and care. Many people have lost the ability to see small miracles that happen each day because they no longer believe in the inherent goodness of life.

I believe what Santa gives all of us is the ability to hold on to that magic, to see life through the eyes of a child, and to celebrate the wonder of life. A belief in Santa Claus reminds us that it's important to give, to look for the good in others, to enjoy the small things in life, to play and laugh, to let our imagination run wild, and to hope for the impossible. These are things I believe in and hope my children will also believe in.