E.F.T. (Emotional Freedom Technique) and childhood trauma issues
By: Cathy Roll M.A. I was at the end of my rope. My husband and I were stressed, my children were in pain. We had tried every therapy that had been recommended to us. We had read every book that had been given to us. We did not know where to turn. We only knew that there had to be something that would help our children heal. I refused to believe that they were broken and could not be fixed. I refused to take a ‘let’s wait and see’ attitude. I knew deep in my soul, that there was something ‘out there’ that would help all of us. But how far ‘out there’ was I willing to go? As it turns out, I did not have to go that far.
In March of 2005, my husband and I came back from Ukraine with 6 and 8 year old girls. Our new daughters had quite a history. A history of abuse, neglect and horrors that no one at any age should have to witness. I will not go in to details because it is their story to tell and not mine. I can only tell my experience. We hit the ground running as parents. One of the things that my husband and I soon discovered was that our friends, bless their hearts, could not help us. As much as they wanted to be of assistance to us ‘newbie’ parents, they just did not understand. When a behavior surfaced that we were concerned about they would try to put us at ease. They would say things like,”I know how you feel, I was the same way when I first became a mom.” Well intentioned I know. Everything inside of me wanted to scream, “It is NOT the same! You do not understand! When you were a parent for only 1 week, you had a child that was tiny, did not speak or run around turning on gas stoves, or yell at you in a different language!” I learned to not say anything to anyone. I learned to listen to me, and my gut. From my training as a Special Education teacher, I knew my daughters were going to need help overcoming their trauma. I knew I could not wait until things got worse. I knew I had to start looking. We had taken them to play therapy, talk therapy…when their English was better, holding therapy, read book after book, went to seminar after seminar and many more too many to mention. I am sure you get the idea. We were searching but not finding. Then, by fate or divine intervention or whatever, a friend of mine left her church bulletin at my house.
The church bulletin was filled with advertisements. Real Estate Agents and Painters and all sorts of professions were advertised. One advertisement stood out from the rest. It was for a therapist that said she specialized in children’s issues (good), trauma issues (also good), and PTSD (good). It also said that she was a master practitioner of E.F.T. (Emotional Freedom Technique). I had no idea what that was, but I decided to give her a call. We spoke on the phone and I felt at ease with her immediately. I made the earliest appointment I could, for 1 week later. In the meantime I researched E.F.T.. I would not submit my girls to anything that I had not researched. I wanted to make sure that it was safe, and that it would not be physically harmful. It was not at all what I expected. I will not go into detail here about the technique because I will not do it justice. Let me just say, it has helped me and my daughters. I was very skeptical at first but knew the worst thing that would happen is that it would not work. I knew it could not do any harm. It has worked so well that even I have been able to use it with success on some old issues of mine. My daughters ask me every night before bedtime to do the technique with them. My oldest daughter, now 12, has benefited the most. I have noticed a willingness in her that was not there before to talk about painful things.
If you are open minded and willing to try new things, I highly suggest checking out their website. I am not affiliated with them in any way. I just know that it has helped my daughters where nothing else seemed to help. You can download their .pdf manual for free from their website. They also have a page that will find a practitioner in your area. It can not hurt to try it. I still remain open to other techniques, but E.F.T. will remain in my arsenal of ideas to fight for my daughters’ future. Their website: http://emofree.com
Cathy Roll has an M.A. in Special Education: Severe Affective Needs. She quit her full time teaching job to work at home. Being available to her 2 daughters motivated this career change. Visit her online business at http://TheFamily1.com